Male members of Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Council are expected to look embarrassed and confused during tonight’s Town Council meeting as they are asked to discuss and approve the new ‘Womenopause Policy and Guidance’ .
(Editor – Emma, can you step into my office please?)
The 11 page document, which has taken many woman-hours to produce, goes into great detail to explain in words of one syllable or less exactly what womanopause is, what to expect and how the hundreds of women employed by SaDTC need to be treated more sensitively during this period of their lives. The document contains important advice such as ‘See your GP if you are experiencing difficulties’. Other women in the area who may consider themselves to be ‘vulnerable’ are advised to contact Squire Teflon directly for support.
(Editor – Emma?)
Rumours abound in the area that the document has been produced to aid councillors in their dealings with female members of staff, particularly in the light of allegations that one councillor has been hauled before Squire Teflon on trumped up charges of ‘being mean to a member of the town council admin team’ after his requests for information about council-related matters were deemed ‘harassment’.
(Editor – Emma. I’m not going to ask you again.)
It is expected that further Policy and Guidance documents will be produced dealing with such topics as ‘Abusing Social Media’, ‘Domestic Violence, ‘Alcohol Addiction’, ‘Debt’ and ‘Carrying Pens Safely’.
(Mr Editor – if you interrupt me one more time then I swear to God I’m not going to be responsible for my actions. I’ve written a perfectly decent article and your continually nagging is tantamount to harassment. Leave me alone – go and pick on Steve. )
I wonder if a policy on inter-councillor relationships will be produced, or whether that is covered in the existing code of conduct? This lot think The Nolan Principles are a 1970s Irish girl-band tribute act.