The Department of Wind and Precipitation has warned Smalltown and Dullbridge residents of the possibility of damage to life, limb and garden furniture as two hurricanes may cause damage in the area this week.
Residents of the two towns woke this morning to find that last night’s Hurricane Dorothy had hit the centre of Hellhole Holiday Park in Smalltown causing static homes to rock on their foundations. This morning saw a plethora of owners of small dogs struggling to keep their animals under control as they walked along the Promenade.
The DWP have warned that there is more to come as Hurricane Ernie is due to strike on Friday, with even higher winds predicted. “We could well see this affecting milk deliveries in the area, as Ernie could reach speeds of up to 80 miles an hour.”
“Hurricane Ernie could cause a tidal surge in the area and, given the current situation with Mount Teflon so close to eruption, this could have catastrophic complications.”
With the threat of Teflon looming large in the area residents are urged to stay indoors, barricading their doors and hiding under a table. If the doorbell should ring the advice is to ignore it and remain under the table.