Squire Teflon has taken delivery of a new piece of equipment to aid his wooing of Smalltown and Dullbridge’s female residents.
The Squire has added a ‘Vice Chair’ to his collection, which he plans to put to good use in the coming weeks.
He told SomersetClive “Despite my rather small, ahem, appendage, I have a proven track record of appealing to the lady voters of the area. However. I’ve hit upon a new idea to ensure votes. This Vice Chair will allow me to encourage female voters to bestow their votes on me. It’s quite simple really – I capture them, place them in the chair and don’t let them go until I’m satisfied.“
“Satisfied that they’ve marked an X in the box next to me on their postal vote, that is.”
Squire Teflon offered to show this reporter how it works, but I evaded his grasping hands and fled.