After 9,994 years Dullbridge has finally been recognised by the All-New-Yet-Unimproved Somerset Cuonty Council as something other than a place to build 9,994 houses.
A spokescarrot for ANYUSSC said “Yes, that’s right. Residents in Dullbridge can look forward to having something that Smalltown residents won’t get. I would imagine that for once, Dullbridge residents won’t believe their luck, when they hear some incredibly positive news for once.
As you know, we recently brought in changes to our rubbish collection days, this was confirmed in a letter sent to households across Somerset, when we advised residents that a change to their rubbish collection day might take place.
Then, just 10 days later we sent a further letter to the majority of households across Somerset that actually were going to see changes to their rubbish collection date.
Now we can confirm that residents in Dullbridge are going to get an extra special collection on Saturday, so that they stay on a three-week collection service. Isn’t that exciting?
In order to reduce the workload on our rubbish collection people we aren’t going to send another letter telling them about this special rubbish collection day, because the rubbish collection company has advised us that they’ve already borne the brunt of the previous two letters and will therefore have to increase the cost of our contract with them to cover this. Therefore there is no money left for a further letter.
By asking residents to check on the website to see if they are affected, we can ensure that not everyone is aware of the changes and so the number of residents who put their rubbish out will be minimal and the rubbish collectors can get the job done in record time.”
Residents in Dullbridge are said to be mildly nonplussed by the news.