It’s time to check in to see how Smalltown’s psychosomatic Mystic Mick is getting on with his look at what’s in store for Smalltown and Dullbridge residents this year.
November
THIS IS a very strange vision. I’m not sure what to make of it. I can see lots of big lorries with loud music and flashing lights. They are being driven around Smalltown and… this is most strange… lots of people are stood along the sides of the roads, watching them go past. I really don’t know what this means. I’m at a total loss to explain it, it is simply the weirdest vision I’ve ever had. I think I may be hallucinating.
THE EXPERIMENTAL Intergalactic Food, Drink, Craft and Tat Marketfair takes place on Smalltown Sea Front, having been approved by Smalltown and Dullbridge (SaD) Town Council which deemed that mid-November was definitely the best time to hold it. Unfortunately, the strong sea breeze sees several of the market stalls end up in Dalstonbury, where they form part of a new Festivus Fair which attracts an additional 94,000 shoppers to the town.
FOLLOWING last year’s embarrassing escapade with the Smalltown Christmas Lights, which turned out to be a bit of a damp squib when Dictator Dullard pressed the ‘on’ button, this year Smalltown and Dullbridge (SaD) Town Council has decided to make the lights more interesting by introducing flickering lights. Instead of the usual static light display the Smalltown Christmas Lights will twinkle on and off, causing a dancing effect. This will be achieved by employing a man to stand by the main power supply, flicking the on/off switch at regular intervals. The good news is this will only cost an additional £29,400.
Meanwhile in Dullbridge the Christmas Light bulb has blown and there’s no money left to replace it.