Today, Smalltown’s very own Mystic Mick takes a look at what is in store for residents of Smalltown and Dullbridge next month.
February
COUNCILLORS Banish Barracuda and Jim Rabbithole will disappear from public view after daring to question whether Dictator Dullard really needs a budget of £5094 for her official parties and a further budget of £5094 for her Climate Rescue Action Plan (CRAP).
Their whereabouts will remain unknown, despite the Smalltown Administration Guru (SAG) spending six and a half hours preparing ‘Missing‘ posters, which will be affixed to every sixth lamp post in the area. Questioned later the SAG will say “No one told me I needed to include contact details or a phone number on the posters.”
THE All-New-Yet-Unimproved Somerset Cuonty Council reveal that they have received an offer of £500,000.94p, which ANYUSSC Leader Councillor Phil Crivens says will help with the cost of biscuits at Council meetings.
The offer is conditional on ANYUSSC selling Dullbridge to an anonymous buyer. Cllr Crivens says “As Dullbridge has no more room for further development in makes sense to sell it. I believe the new owners plan to demolish the entire town. At which point ANYUSSC will buy it back at five times the price we sold it for and building work can start again. It makes perfect financial sense to us.”