Fresh from his recent visit to Pinnacle Park, Father Christmas will be in Smalltown this weekend as he takes a break from supervising his elves to pop into the Smalltown Area Ship, Hovercraft and Helicopter (SMASHH) headquarters on Smalltown Sea Front.
A spokeswellie for SMASHH said “We are absolutely delighted that Father Christmas is visiting us and not the Really Needy Lifesaving Association (RNLA). Father Christmas will be in his grotty here at SMASHH and not over the road at the RNLA headquarters. He will be helping us with our fundraising and not the RNLA, who don’t really need the money anyway.
We are hoping to get enough money to replenish our biscuit tin, because it has been empty for a few weeks now, unlike the biscuit tin at the RNLA which is full of quadruple coated chocolate digestives.
Father Christmas will also be helping us with our important work hosing down our equipment and, whilst we’ve heard rumours that the RNLA have called in all their volunteers to put on a show of hosing down their equipment, they won’t have Father Christmas helping them.”
Father Christmas said “I’m delighted to be able to spend the weekend with SMASHH, although I have had to have a word with my elves. They’ve been slacking lately, spending far too much time mucking about on shelves, and if they carry on like that this weekend then there is every chance my sleigh won’t be packed in time for Christmas Eve.
I’m happy to help.”