Voters in Dullbridge will soon be heading to the polls to mark their X in the box next to their preferred candidate to fill the space on Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Council, after Captain Rumm tendered his resignation.
This week SomersetClive will be taking a look at the three candidates who are hoping to get voted in. First up is the a Illiberal Party’s Al Incendiary.
“Despite being part of Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Council, Dullbridge is a town all on its own. It’s a very special town and residents deserve all the good things that have previously been denied to them by the previously Illiberal-led SaD Town, Sadgebore District and Somerset Cuonty Councils. We Illiberals always made sure that Dullbridge missed out on everything – apart from lots and lots of new housing.
I served on Sadgebore and am now a Cuonty Councillor for Dullbridge at the All-New-Yet-Unimproved Somerset Cuonty Council, where I have done precisely sod all for Dullbridge.
My aim for the town has always been the same and never changes, listen to what people want, what they need and then completely ignore them. I work with the Criminal Police Commissioner, because although his role should really be non-political we all know that he was the Illiberal Party’s choice and that all he really does is start surveys and support Illiberal Party members seeking election.
If this isn’t enough to convince you to vote for me then let me try some scare tactics.
Pinnacle Park is earmarked to be turned into a giant car park by the local BeFuddleds and once they’ve done that they are going to ban cars and Pinnacle Park will be left abandoned.
The BeFuddleds also plan to increase housing rates for all at very high increases – most people call housing rates ‘Council Tax’, but I’m so behind the times that I still call them ‘rates’.
Local services could be scaled back due to the BeFuddleds bringing the All-New-Yet-Unimproved Somerset Cuonty Council Council to the edge of bankruptcy, something which wouldn’t have happened if it had remained under Illiberal control. If we were still in control it would have been the Illiberals bringing the All-New-Yet-Unimproved Somerset Cuonty Council Council to the edge of bankruptcy.
The BeFuddleds are also planning to eat all your children and pets.
All of these points and much more, which I can’t detail here because I haven’t actually thought about it, I would strive to fight for Dullbridge.
I’m a really nice man. I actively raise charity money for Dullbridge charities, but I can’t tell you which ones because I haven’t actually done anything of the sort, but it sounds good, doesn’t it?
Hang on. I’ve thought of something else. I’m on the Dullbridge Regeneration Committee and want to enhance the town with a much needed upgrade under the levelling scheme. Even though I contributed nothing to the previous scheme to level Dullbridge.
All these are just a few things of irrelevance which I continually ignore. Dullbridge deserves better than it got over the many years of Illiberal rule and together we can achieve it.
Vote Illiberal for the Town Council and get Squire Teflon in charge again. .