The Smalltown and Dullbridge Big Crowd headed to the Smalltown Cheese, Chutney, Cauliflower, Cake, Cod and Cider Festival on Saturday where the vast majority had a splendid time.
However, some members of the Big Crowd didn’t enjoy it quite as much as others. Dionne Dishcloth told SomersetClive “It was awful. They came down our street at 9.30am, knocking on everyone’s doors. Then they rounded us all up and marched us to Smalltown, threatening to Taser anyone who didn’t stay in line.”
Mrs Dishcloth’s friend Karen Misery agreed, adding “When we got to the Road Closed signs they poked us through with cattle prods, totally ignoring us when we said we didn’t want to go in.”
Daphne Dolorous took up the story “Once inside we were made to pay £94 to purchase a sausage roll. When I said I didn’t want to pay that much for a sausage roll they laughed at me and said I didn’t have a choice.”
Complaints against the organisers, Margot and Felicity Farmhouse-Kitchener were also voiced, with Gloria Gloomy saying “I couldn’t believe it when it started to rain. What were the organisers thinking? Putting on an event in the rain. There is no excuse for such bad planning.”
Meanwhile, Smalltown resident, Wendy Wretched said “I didn’t go and I thought it was terrible.”
Luckily, not everyone in the Big Crowd who did turn up was quite so negative and, amongst the items of produce on offer, cheese, chutney, cauliflower, cake and cider were very popular, although sales of fresh fish were said to be slow with the stallholder saying he thought that was because his stall was in the wrong plaice.