The cost of educating (Previously) Smalltown’s Most Popular Person (Dullbridge Public Enemy No.1) Cllr Jock MCads in the ways of the modern world has been revealed to be £1625.00 (+VAT).
Cllr McCads had found himself in hot water after making inappropriate comments about her brassiere and decolletage to the Smalltown and Dullbridge Smalltown Administration Deputy (SADSAD), Eileen Mutton.
Ms Mutton took the matter to Dictator Dullard and Deputy Dictator Sherry, who promptly agreed that Cllr McCads was a ‘very naughty boy who should be put in detention‘ and the matter was immediately referred upwards to the Standards Board at the All-New-Yet-Unimproved Somerset Cuonty Council.
Following a trial, which saw Cllr McCads accused of ‘Leering Behaviour, Misogynistic Attitudes and Bullying’ , the Standards Board agreed that Cllr McCads should remain in detention until he had completed conversion therapy.
It is believed that Cllr McCads has now started his training, which involves strapping him to a chair in front of a screen which displays flashing images of large bazoomas. If Cllr McCads reacts in any way an electric charge is delivered via a 240 volt battery which has also been purchased at a cost of £132.25 (+VAT). Deputy Dictator Sherry is understood to be in charge of pressing the button to deliver the short sharp shock.
Sources close to Deputy Dictator Cruella Sherry have claimed that “She’s really enjoying it and she has said that she is not going to stop until he either resigns from the BeFuddled Party or turns into a frazzled shadow of his former self and dies. Whichever comes soonest.
She really wanted to do this in front of a paying audience at the White Elephant Enclosure, but it was felt that another battery would need to be purchased in the event that Squire Teflon turned up and reacted to the flashing images in the same way as Cllr McCads.”
Smalltown and Dullbridge residents will no doubt be delighted to learn that the cost of the training course and the battery has been met by Smalltown and Dullbridge (SaD) Town Council from Smalltown and Dullbridge Council Tax payments.