SCAMPering off

It has been revealed that the Smalltown Culture and Media Person (SCAMP), Billy Elliot, has resigned his position at the White Elephant Enclosure (WEE).

Employed by Smalltown and Dullbridge (SaD) Town Council on the advice of the Smalltown Culture and Arts Manager (SCAM), to do the parts of her job that she didn’t want to do (i.e. most of it), the SCAMP was on a fixed term contract, which was due to expire in March 2024.

During his tenure Mr Elliot was charged with finding and booking new acts and productions and promoting the same, with the aim of upping ticket sales. It is believed that this has become increasingly difficult in recent months, as word has got around amongst agents and production companies that appearing at the WEE, whether on a straight hire or a split of the ticket sales, would lead to a lot of effort for very little reward.

The recent Top Secret Report from the Top Secret Consultants engaged by Deputy Dictator Sherry under the cover of the Top Secret Human Resources Top Secret Sun Committee detailed how the new Smalltown Provisional Arts Manager (SPAM1) will be employed on a contract covering 4-6 days work a month, before a Smalltown Permanent Arts Manager (SPAM2) is found.

The report suggests that the SPAMs will be required to ‘Develop marketing and programming strategies to attract a wider audience and increase revenue.’, which is actually the SCAMP’s current role, so perhaps Mr Elliot no longer sees a role for himself in the future and is getting out now, before he is pushed.

SomersetClive understands that the SCAMP handed in his resignation BEFORE the last week’s White Elephant Enclosure Mismanagement Extraordinary Committee Meeting. However, Deputy Dictator Sherry, working in cahoots with the Smalltown Administration Guru, Katie Global, decided that noone but themselves needed to know about this latest setback, and so have kept this information to themselves, rather than share it publicly.

Another fine example of ‘Open, Honest and Transparent’ local governance Sherry-style in action.

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