Way back in January Smalltown’s foremost Physiotherapist and Oracle Mystic Mick gave SomersetClive readers his predictions for the year ahead in Smalltown and we’ve asked him to revisit those future sightings now that they are in the past to see how many he got right.
January
Sadgebore District Council will fail to get any funding from the Government Levelling Up Fund for the Re-Imagine Dullbridge (RID) bid. A government spokesperson will say “The RIDbid showed a spectacular lack of imagination.”
I was spot on with this one wasn’t I? Couldn’t have seen it better even if I’d opened my eyes. I know there are some people who say it was obvious it was going to fail, given that it was such a last-minute and absolutely pathetic idea and that the two members of the BeFuddled Party who put this together – Former Councillor Fencesitter and (Previously) Smalltown’s Most Popular Person (Dullbridge Public Enemy No.1) Cllr McCads – wouldn’t know a good idea if it bit them on the bum, but I think that’s a bit unfair. Cllr McCads had other things on his mind and Former Cllr Fencesitter is well… Former Cllr Fencesitter.
Organisers Margo and Felicity Farmhouse-Kitchener announce that henceforth the Smalltown Cheese Festival will be rebranded as the Smalltown Super Sparkly Sultana Festival and will be dedicated to the sale of dried fruit products.
I have spoken to the Farmhouse-Kitcheners to ask them why they haven’t rebranded as I foresaw.
Felicity Farmhouse-Kitchener squealed “I don’t know how you knew about this! But it’s true. I really, really wanted to go ahead with my super idea to introduce the Smalltown Super Sparkly Sultana Festival and I was super excited about it.
Margot Farmhouse-Kitchener interrupted to say “But unfortunately when we looked into it we discovered that there were hardly any dried fruit sellers locally. Nowhere near as many as there are cheese sellers.
As our festivals are all about local cheese for local festivals we decided turning it into the Smalltown Super Sparkly Sultana Festival would go against our ethos of providing local cheese for local people.
Felicity added “I was super sad about it.”
So I’m counting this as a win, because they would have done if they could have done.