Smalltown drew in a Crowd of people over the weekend who were mostly seen to be enjoying themselves.
The town centre was the place to be on Saturday, as residents and visitors clogged up Main Street as they thronged the area to view the lineup of boats at the Smalltown Classic Boat Show.
The event, organised by the Smalltown Chamber of Trade (SCOT) working separately and not with Squire Teflon’s close-friend and employer Mistress Bones and Lady Brassy of Easton-under-Water’s Smalltown Shops (SS Group), was hailed as ‘the biggest event in Smalltown since the last big event in Smalltown’, with the Crowd visible from space.
Smalltown Headmistress, Mayor and Dictator Cllr Kelsey Dullard, who was supposed to judge the entries with Town Shouter Alan Currie, told SomersetClive “I was pleased to see the big Crowd in the centre of Smalltown. I don’t think I’ve ever seen the Crowd this large in Smalltown, but then I haven’t lived in the area for very long. The atmosphere was cheerful, everyone was very well behaved and there was certainly a lot of interest in all the lovely boats. Everyone did very well.
What struck me was the dedication of the owners, many of whom have spent years restoring their lovely boats. They should be congratulated for the time they’ve spent on extracurricular activities. One lovely boat had been in the same lovely family for many decades. They were all pristine and a great sight for all the lovely visitors to the show.
I was supposed to be judging the boats with the Town Shouter, but judging things is my responsibility and nothing to do with anyone else, so I chose not to listen to his opinion. Instead I chose the winner all on my own, awarding one of my special Mayoral Medals to a beautiful old boat. It has been very carefully maintained over many years and is a very good example of what can be achieved if you fix things rather than throw them away and buy new.
I also completely ignored any suggestions made by the Town Shouter and chose the winner of the Commercial Category all on my own, awarding one of my Mayoral Medals to a gorgeous ex-Cross Channel Ferry that has been taken around the world by its owner. I understand that it has recently been purchased by the UK Government and will soon be moored in the Bay of Fridgpond to provide accommodation for Chernobyl-by-Sea workers. The interior was really homely and very practical – a real character and beautifully restored and maintained – I think the workers will be very happy living on such a lovely boat.
It was really interesting to see the display of electric boats. Perhaps in the future they will be included in the show in their own right as the BeFuddled Party in Somerset will be pushing to take all unenvironmentally boats off the sea as we improve the party’s green credentials. I thoroughly enjoyed seeing all the vehicles and meeting their lovely owners who were so dedicated. They all had a great story to tell and I will be looking forward to seeing their’What I did on my Holiday’ work sheets when they return to school. It was good to see Smalltown so busy.”
SomersetClive asked Dictator Dullard if she had finished talking yet and she told us
“No. I have a lot more words about myself and my opinion to share. I’d like to say thank you to SCOT and the Classic and Vintage Boat Club for all their hard work. They have worked very hard in their own time on this project and have done very well. It was a very successful event.”
On Sunday the Crowd made its was to Chateau Gardens for Cllr Jock McCads’ Mad Hatter’s Tea Party, where a combination of sunny weather and live music proved the perfect end to the weekend.
Headmistress, Mayor and Dictator Cllr Dullard was not in attendance, because members of the BeFuddled Party are still trying to keep their distance from shamed Cllr McCads as they wrestle with a way to punish him for his inappropriate behaviour.
Cllr McCads was on hand with a book of raffle tickets and was seen giving bra fitting advice to members io the Crowd.
Spokesperson for the Crowd Mrs May West told SomersetClive “The Crowd had a very enjoyable day looking at the boats. I was particularly thrilled to see so many lifejackets on show. Safety is paramount when you are in a boat.
The Crowd has also enjoyed today’s Mad Hatter’s Tea Party, and I am personally indebted to Cllr Jock McCads for the most excellent bra fitting advice he offered. Apparently a ‘plunge bra’ would work wonders for my figure.
The Crowd hasn’t been this big in Smalltown since the Poll Tax riots of 1882, and it is looking forward to the next outing, which l believe will be Pride – a Really Unique Diverse Event (PRUDE), which is rather an apt title for an outing.