After the first year in control of Smalltown and Dullbridge (SaD) Town Council, the BeFuddled Party’s Headmistress, Mayor and Dictator Cllr Kelsey Dullard has been issuing her End of Term Reports detailing the work of her fellow Town Councillors. Here we publish her thoughts on one of the least prominent members of the opposing Illiberal Party.
Councillor Al deValues
Illiberal Party
Councillor deValues is an ‘interesting’ member of Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Council, a man of very few words, which suits me fine as it means I can spend longer talking about myself.
As one of only two Councillors able to use a calculator he has been working very hard alongside Head of Mathematics, Cllr Barracuda, trying to correct all the mistakes in the SaD Town Council accounts. Of which there are many.
He is also a member of the Human Resources Secret Committee and I am unable to comment on his work or attendance there, because it is secret.
He had managed not to say or do anything worthy of comment in the local newspapers, so you can be forgiven for not realising he is a Councillor. Believe me, I didn’t realise either.
Out of a possible 14 meetings, he has only missed one, giving him an attendance rate of 93%.
Effort: 1/10
Achievement: 0/10
Conclusion: Cllr deValues really needs to put in more effort to become a more worthwhile member of the Council, otherwise people are going to start to question exactly who the man slumped in the chair at the end of the table is.