The Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Council Dead and Buried Committee Meeting, held on 15th March, was thrown into chaos after only three Councillors bothered to turn up.
Both the Chairman of the Committee, Deputy Mayor and Fun Police Officer Cllr Patsy Knickers, and Cllr Banish Barracuda both decided that they had better things to do then sit around and discuss such exciting matters as grass cutting.
With BeFuddled Cllr Jim Rabbithole and Illiberal Party members Cllrs Julia and Julia Slurry the only Councillors in attendance, it looked for a time as if the meeting would have to be abandoned as they tried to select a chair.
“You’ll have to do it” Cllr Slurry said to Cllr Rabbithole. “You’re the only BeFuddled here.”
“Me?” retorted Cllr Rabbithole. “I’m not doing it. I’ve never chaired a meeting in my life. Why can’t she do it?” he continued, indicating Cllr Staring.
“Her? She’s only here to make up the numbers. She never expected to be a Councillor.”
Cllr Rabbithole tried to persuade Cllr Slurry to take on the role, but she told him firmly that she and her fellow Illiberal Party members had instructions from Squire Teflon to make the BeFuddleds look bad at every opportunity and this appeared to be one of those occasions.
Cllr Rabbithole them agreed to chair the meeting, but only if he didn’t have to make any difficult decisions.
The only item on the agenda that was scheduled for discussion – a proposal from the absent Cllr Knickers to scatter wildflower seeds around the Smalltown and Dullbridge burial grounds – was deferred until the next meeting on 7th June, by which time it will be too late to sow wildflower seeds.