The handful of Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Councillors who made it to the Town Council meeting recently held at Chapelmeadows School in Dullbridge, rather than the usual venue of the Hayloft Road Palace Retirement Home for Bemused and Bewildered BeFuddled Party ex-Teachers (and Others) had to sit through an incredibly long monologue from Headmistress and Mayor, Cllr Kelsey Dullard.
After taking the register, and marking almost half the councillors absent, Cllr Dullard said “Good Morning, School. Sorry. Good Evening, School. It’s lovely to see your happy little faces, all eager and full of anticipation.
Life has been jolly busy since our last meeting at the beginning of October, but it’s good to be busy, isn’t it? The Devil makes work for idle hands which aren’t clutching a lovely cup of tea.
I have been greatly assisted by both Deputy Head Mistresses to ensure we attended as many of the tea drinking events as we could. Cllr Sherry will be giving an account of her activities on our behalf later. I’ve asked to keep this as short as possible, because I know you won’t want to hear too much from her.
I was pleased to attend the launch of the art exhibition, featuring the work of Year 6, at the White Elephant Enclosure . It was good to see our local budding artists being valued and supported in this way. Later I was privileged to ‘unveil’ the beautiful artwork on the esplanade, provided at great cost and which has taken many months to produce. It was lovely to meet the artist (I’m sorry, I’ve forgotten her name) and her family and we shared a lovely cup of tea from a Thermos flask. She had done a great deal of research to ensure that her work is accurate. It portrays all the wildlife that can be seen or found on our coast. Her supporting course work was excellent.
My ‘Festival of Youth’ event was well received in Queen Ethelred’s School. We had representatives for several youth groups operating in the town and these were the only youths who turned up. The afternoon closed with the awards ceremony where Theresa C*nt, Fawn Fairey and Ben Dwindle presented my special awards to recognise the hard work put in by some of the students. We can be very proud of our young people. I was pleased to visit Smalltown Infant School later in the week to present an award to one of the children who, in common with most of the children in Smalltown and Dullbridge, had better things to do than attend school on a Saturday.
I have been meeting with the Principal of Queen Ethelred’s School and we are now aiming to hold elections in the New Year ready to start a Youth Town Council again, with any luck we will see applications from students who have more experience than our real councillors. They are also an integral part of our Climate Crisis Armageddon We-Are-All-Going-To-Die plan. We are looking forward to working together to develop the role of young people in decision making in the town. It’s not all about drinking cider in Chateau Gardens.
The council has been working quite hard to provide support to our residents who are finding the cost of living crisis difficult. I met Flora Chickener from Sadgebore District Council to discuss the Information Day that she was holding at the White Elephant Enclosure. I wanted to ensure it met our local needs and we pooled our knowledge of local groups who are working to support the community. Unfortunately very few residents turned up. We then held our own event in Dullbridge, where even fewer residents turned up.
I also met with Smalltown Methodology Church to discuss the increase in homelessness in our town. This matter has been brought to council tonight, with a proposal put forward by Cllrs Rob Apprentice Candlestick-Maker and Patsy Knickers who will suggest forming a Working Group to think about ideas. If you are interested in working on this project please let them know. It will take 0lace as an after-school activity.
I had the pleasure of working with Her Archbishopness Karen Elderflower from St Genesius Church to plan our Town Carol Service. I also attended the Where-Am-I? friendly service in St Genesius Church. It was a great service and the social time afterwards was lovely, we shared several cups of tea.
We held a wonderful Remembrance Parade and service in Burnham. It was attended by many of our community. Our Missing Person Tim Teepee was amazed at the turn out for such a small town. I was very proud of our community that day. People of all ages attended and showed respect, valuing the part played by all those in the armed services around the world. I was disappointed that not many of our Councillors bothered to show their faces especially as most of them didn’t even bother to submit a letter from home giving the reason for their absence.
I also attended the service in Dullbridge. Again many in the community turned out to recognise and value our service personnel. Unfortunately I was struck down with Corvid the next day and I’d like to apologise to all the veterans and schoolchildren who have been similarly affected over the following week. It’s a complete mystery as to how they contracted it.
I attended training for Chairs. The Smalltown New Administration Guru (SNAG), Katie Global and I both also attended a meeting for Chairs and SNAGS to help us understand how to rearrange the furniture when Sadgebore District Council cease to exist next year. It is expected that there will be a great deal of office equipment surplus to requirements in Fridgpond.
I have attended umpteen Christmas Fairs. I thoroughly enjoyed meeting a wide variety of lovely people at these events. I then took great pleasure in attending the Smalltown Christmas Light Switch On and ‘A Winter War’ event. It was lovely to see so many people enjoying the lovely activities provided by the lovely organisers. The Smalltown Chamber of Trade (SCOT) and Smalltown Shops (SS) can be very proud of their together-yet-separate work. I have awarded both groups with a gold star, which thru can display on the front of their homework diaries.
However, I feel that there is still room for improvement and I’m looking forward to next year, when the two groups can perhaps put their differences aside and try much harder to work on one event.
I attended Queen Ethelred’s School to switch on their Christmas lights. It was good to meet the students and teachers afterwards over a cup of tea! I am enjoying getting to know the school community and feel right at home with them.
I assume someone switched on the Christmas Light in Dullbridge, but it wasn’t me. I try to avoid Dullbridge whenever possible, because I’m sure that they reuse the teabags there.
Last week we held our Town Carol Service at St Genesis Church. We were joined by someone very important in Somerset, but their name escapes me now, who stayed for tea and chat after the service. We were entertained by St Genesius School, Smalltown Infants and Chapelmeadows School. They really made the service lovely. It was a lovely occasion which finished with a lovely sing-a-long of the Smalltown Christmas Song ‘Scary Tale of Smalltown’ We all left smiling, safe in the knowledge that Christmas in Smalltown is far lovelier than Christmas in Dullbridge.
I will be issuing end of term reports at the end of this meeting, please ensure that you collect yours before leaving. Thank you. Have a lovely Christmas break and I’ll see you all for the start of the new term in January.”
Deputy Headmistress Councillor Eugenie Sherry then gave a very short update on the events she had attended. Unfortunately your SomersetClive reporter had fallen asleep by this point.