The plan to host a four day Intergalactic Food, Drink, Craft and Tat Fair on Smalltown seafront was turned down by Smalltown and Dullbridge (SaD) Town Councillors last night.
Organiser of the MarketFair, RapidProfit Events, had previously submitted plans for a 12 day market to be held in the town last August, but these were rejected in February with Councillors saying at the time “It would be better if this was a much shorter event, perhaps spread over a long weekend, rather than 12 days.”
Addressing the meeting of the Town Unimprovements Committee Lady Brassy of Easton-under-Water shared her opposition to the latest plans saying “The traders in Smalltown don’t want the competition from this event. August is the height of the tourist season in Smalltown and the best opportunity for traders to get their hands on money from visitors. We don’t want to share that opportunity by offering visitors and residents a chance to buy something different.”
Squire Teflon agreed, saying “Although this might sound like a nice idea and could offer an interesting attraction to visitors and residents in Smalltown, it needs looking into in more detail. August is an important time of year for traders in the town and that makes this proposal unacceptable. Perhaps the organiser could consider holding it at a different time of year – say mid-February?
I urge my fellow councillors to reject this proposal, because my close friend and employer Mistress Bones of the Newspaper and Tat Emporium will not be at all happy at the thought of someone else selling tat in Smalltown.
Mistress Bones will be very cross with me if you approve this and may even withdraw my privileges as well as hide my bottles of Albanian Whiskey.”
Cllr Banish Barracuda was uncertain, whispering “It would be nice to see something new in Smalltown for residents and visitors. Lots of other seaside towns around the country host events such as this and I believe they are quite popular.
However, as Squire Teflon has pointed out, this Council is not here to please the residents of Smalltown. Our first duty of care is to the traders in the town who, unlike the residents, don’t contribute any money to the Town Council coffers. So perhaps this isn’t the good idea I thought it was.”
Smalltown’s Most Popular Person Jock McCads added “We are committed to supporting the private businesses in Smalltown, ensuring that our shops and cafes make a profit for their owners. We need to protect the interests of people such as Lady Brassy, who doesn’t live in Smalltown.”
Councillors then unanimously voted not to encourage this sort of thing.
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