There has been all round condemnation in Smalltown of a couple who tried to jump the queue outside the Post Office last week. The Queue, which stretched to Dullbridge, built up after a large brown box became wedged in the counter window last week.
It has since been revealed that two prominent Smalltown residents were observed pushing in at the front of the queue, which drew gasps of horror from those who had waited patiently for days.
“I couldn’t believe it.” said Brett Rutler. “I’d been standing there for hours and these two just rocked up and claimed they were VIPs on important business.”
In a throwback to scenes from the time Former Mayor of Smalltown and Dullbridge, His Royal Highness, Lord Admiral Emperor Nelson Jones, First Duke of Smalltown MBE, OBE and Knight of the Living Dead was challenged by a member of the public in a similar queue at the chemists, it is alleged that the male queue jumper said “Don’t you know who I am?”
The couple has since been identified as Squire Teflon and his close friend Mistress Bones.
The Squire later claimed that he was on important council business, having been entrusted with a letter to post on behalf of Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Council.
Speaking to SomersetClive after the revelation Squire Teflon said “I’d been given the letter to post by the Smalltown New Administration Guru (SNAG), Katie Global, and after the last time, when I ‘accidentally’ delivered the previous Smalltown Head Administration Guru’s (SHAG) work and health appraisal to the wrong address, I was determined to prove that I CAN post letters.
I couldn’t possibly stand in a queue for days, because I have paper rounds to do, so naturally I made my way to the front of the queue.”
There have since been calls for Squire Teflon and his close friend, Mistress Bones to resign, but since neither of them hold any positions worth resigning from, this seems pointless.