Mistress Bones and Lady Penelope Brassy of Easton-under-Water of the Smalltown Shops (SS) group have reacted angrily to the suggestion that Smalltown ‘has no shops and there’s nothing to do’.
Teaming up with local retail expert Dani Morris the duo have used Miss Morris’ expertise to compile a list of shops, starting with the ‘George’ area of Smalltown.
Publishing the list on AceCrook, the SS group commented “Because our town has no shops .. at all.” (Followed by an emoji expressing confusion and three laughing emojis.)
Hitting back at the idea that there is ‘nothing to do’ the list also includes reference to the Blitz Cinema, the library and, to keep Squire Teflon happy, The White Elephant Enclosure – even though the WEE doesn’t actually have anything going on for the entire month of September.
Commenting on the facilities available at the library the SS representative said “Yes. A real life ACTUAL library with BOOKS.” – a worthy point, as most libraries don’t have any books whatsoever.
However, local resident Prue Porne was quick to reply “All those shops may well be in Smalltown, but whenever I try to go shopping in the town they are shut. It’s all very well having a shop but shopkeepers need to actually be open if they want people to use them!”
The SS plan to work with Miss Morris again in the near future in order to continue their exhausting list of shops in Smalltown.