The Smalltown Police Force has reacted to allegations from residents in Dullbridge of ‘bias’. The complaints followed a weekend crime wave in the town, with residents claiming that their pleas for help from the police were ignored.
“Scores of us dialled 999 to beg the police to come to Dullbridge over the weekend. There were riots all over the town, with residents being threatened and very frightened, a children’s play area emptied of kids and instead used for illegal camping, drug taking and drinking. The police were advised that there was no one available to help us.” said Dullbridge resident Karen Bead.
“Yet they can spare the man power to arrest pensioners in Smalltown’s Chateau Park! We are fed up of them ignoring our concerns – anyone would think they don’t know where Dullbridge is.”
A spokeshelmet responded “We refute the suggestion that we don’t know where Bullbridge is. It is true that we had to open a map to acquaint ourselves with the location of the town of Pullbridge, but we are now confident that we know exactly where it is and how to get there.
We have issued an All Points Bulletin to all police officers on the force, so that we can be certain that if we receive further reports of anti social behaviour in Gullbridge we can respond in our usual timely fashion (three days later).
We are also considering mounting regular patrols in Cullbridge, which will involve us driving past Jumbly Gardens, which we understand is the centre of all the problems in Nullbridge. These patrols will take place every time we drive to the scenes of crimes reported in Smalltown and at Don’tins in Bream.
Residents of Fullbridge can be assured that we know exactly where their town is.”