Barrow Road reopens

Residents of the Smalltown Posh, Bream and Barrow areas are once again able to escape after workers worked day and night to fill in the sink hole which had opened up under Barrow Road.

Several cars had to be extracted from the hole before work to stabilise the road could be carried out.

The damage was caused after a section of the road collapsed into the redundant Smalltown to Bream Underground Tram Tunnel System (S-BUTTS) an ill-fated scheme introduced by Lord Admiral, His Royal Highness, Former Mayor of Smalltown and Dullbridge, Nelson Jones, MBE, OBE and Knight of the Living Dead in the late 1880s. The tunnel, which was never completed, is believed to start at Hayloft Road Palace and construction petered out midway along Barrow Road.

A spokesperson for West Workers Who Dig Out Tunnels and Cover Up Mistakes (WWWDOTCUM) said “It was all very strange, because as far as we were aware the tunnel has not been in use for some time but, as we excavated the hole prior to stabilising the ground, we found several bits of broken plastic at the very bottom, together with a couple of mummified penguins which always seem to turn up at the bottom of holes in the Smalltown area.

The plastic looked to have been placed in the tunnel quite recently, but we have no idea who put it there or why. Perhaps some of your readers can help us solve the mystery?”

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