Smalltown & Dullbridge (SaD) Town Council has announced its Budget and your Council Tax for 2022.
The Council Tax for a band Z home will be £940, which will be spent on the following items:
The ‘Definition of Insanity’ fund: 63%
This enables SaD to keep doing the same old things whilst hoping for a different result. To include employment of the Smalltown Head Administration Genius (SHAG), Smalltown Media & Uproar Genius (SMUG) and others together with maintaining the Hayloft Road palace and to ensure there is no reason for the Squire to be detained at Her Majesty’s pleasure.
The ‘White Elephant Enclosure’ fund: 12%
Throwing good money after bad for a decade including associated largesse from Chernobyl by Sea Local Slush Fund and other public bodies. To include ongoing employment of the Smalltown Culture & Arts Manager (SCAM).
The ‘Sadgebore Incompetence’ fund: 12%
Why pay for a service once when it can be paid for twice? Your local illiberal Councillors with unresolved conflicts of interest when sitting on two Councils pass on SaD cash without any service agreements to fund attempts by Sadgebore to provide some semblance of public service.
The ‘Ignite Smalltown out of this World Switch On to end all switch ons with and without tubular bells and associated decorations and general deterioration to please the Squire, Cllr Bodge, Smalltown Shops (SS), Mistress Bones and Lady Brassy amongst others’ fund: 7%
Yes, they want to do it all again next year which is an exhausting prospect (Editor – any SomersetClive journalist will not get expenses next year), as well as to celebrate Queen Victoria II’s Titanium Jubilee. Plus repairing one light for Dullbridge and its one-minute switch on.
The ‘Bribes & Bungs’ fund: 5%
How SaD Councillors exercise soft power and try to win friends and influence people. Want to hire the White Elephant Enclosure? Have a grant! Want to run an event with a relative of the Mistress? Have a grant. Want to move to Bigtown having run a creative project that benefits nobody else for a year? Have a grant. Want to enrich local landlords? Have a grant. Be associated with the new radical party rather than the illiberals? No chance.
The ‘Bury your Dead’ fund: 1%
SaD Town Council routinely attempts to bury bad news but will also bury your loved ones. And charge handsomely for the privilege yet still at a cost to you the ratepayer.
SaD Town Council looks forward to serving itself and the Squire’s associates at your expense for another year!