It has been confirmed that Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Council’s new Town Destruction Committee (also known as the Finance and Malfeasance committee) has followed successfully in the footsteps of its predecessor (the Town Unimprovements Committee) by managing to make Smalltown and Dullbridge worse.
Visitors and residents expecting to see floral displays on the roundabouts approaching the towns, on roadsides and in the planters around the area are set to be sorely disappointed after it was confirmed that the BeFuddled controlled All-New-Yet-Unimproved Somerset Cuonty Council had not only scrapped the budget for planting and maintenance, but hadn’t bothered to tell anyone either.
The news was confirmed during the Finance and Malfeasance meeting, which had been asked to approve finance to water Dictator Dullard’s new flowerbeds on Smalltown seafront.
Chair Councillor Banish Barracuda said “We have errm already given the errm money to Dictator Dullard to errm cover the cost of the errm plants, but now we errm need to approve further errm spending so that they can be errm watered. We were errm unaware that errrm ANYUSSC were errrm not going to be providing this errrm service and so errrm we need to errm approve further spending on errrm this.”
Cllr Barracuda explained to the committee that a discussion on the matter was unnecessary, as Dictator Dullard, Deputy Dictator Cruella Sherry and himself, aided by the Smalltown Administration Guru, Katie Global, had already made the decision undemocratically in a Top Secret meeting held outside of committee.
SaD Town Council had allocated £4,494 for floral displays in the budget, but has already spent £5,794 on plants, tools and compost for Dictator Dullard’s seafront beds and the cost of watering these will be in the region of £2,294.
During the Top Secret meeting, Dullard, Sherry and wet fish Barracuda further agreed to go ahead with the purchase of hanging baskets for Smalltown Main Street at a cost of £1,880, thereby further exceeding the budget.
Meanwhile, the planters already installed in Main Street will be left empty, save for any colour provided by weeds. Never mind, Dictaor Dullard and Cruella get the money for another of their pet projects.