SMASHH speculation

Mystery surrounds the source of rumours which have been circulating around Smalltown and Dullbridge concerning the possible mass departure of volunteers from the Smalltown Area Ship, Hovercraft and Helicopter (SMASHH) rescue group.

Media Tycoon and SMASHH spokesperson, Mike Maxman has been uncharacteristically silent on the subject and it has proved difficult to get official confirmation of the walkout, however it is believed that around eight SMASHH crew members have walked out.

A source told SomersetClive “It’s that bl00dy Really Needy Lifesaving Association (RNLA) again. They are always trying to muscle in on our shouts and are really jealous of our equipment as it is more useful than their boat.

It’s been proposed that we merge with them and share our hoses. We are very unhappy about this, as we were here first. Our building was here first, which is why we have such a high profile on Smalltown Seafront, whilst they are reduced to having to operate from a building behind the S&M car park.

This proposal would see them moving into our headquarters and taking our ship, hovercraft, helicopter and biscuit supply. We feel that we are being pressurised to agree to the move and we aren’t happy at all. We do not want to share our biscuits with them.

We felt that under the circumstances we had no option but to hand our wellies back and take our biscuits away.

SomersetClive reached out to Mike Maxman for comment and he told us “No. I’m not giving you a job. Go away. “

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