In the towns of Smalltown and Dullbridge (SaD) the council meetings were like scenes from a comedy sketch. Headmistress, Mayor and Dictator Dullard, with her perpetually patronising smile, would preside over the chaos, trying to keep a semblance of order among the bumbling Councillors.
Councillor Patsy Knickers suggested installing 22mph speed limited across the towns to “prevent accidents.” Squire Teflon proposed building a ski resort in the middle of summer to “boost tourism.” And Councillor Robb Apprentice-Candlestick Maker suggested painting all the fire hydrants rainbow colours because “I personally myself think this would would be an awesome idea.”
Despite the town’s declining infrastructure and economy, the councillors remained blissfully unaware of their incompetence. When residents complained about potholes, they proposed filling them with glitter, convinced it would make the roads more eye-catching.
As the town’s problems mounted, so did the absurdity of the council’s solutions. They passed ordinances to ban seagulls from flying over the sea front and mandated that all electricity be turned off for 16 hours a day to “save the planet“. They agreed to cover up mistakes made in the accounts by pressing the delete button on the IT system and agreed to spend ever increasing amounts of money on a barely-used facility, without any idea of a way out of the black hole they had dug for themselves.
Meanwhile, businesses fled Smalltown and Dullbridge, and property values plummeted. The once-thriving community became a laughing stock, known far and wide for its clueless council.
Yet, amid the chaos, a glimmer of hope emerged. A group of concerned citizens banded together, forming a grassroots movement to educate the councillors and bring sanity back to Smalltown and Dullbridge. With patience, persistence, and a lot of facepalms, they embarked on a mission to turn the town around, one sensible decision at a time.
Unfortunately it had absolutely no effect and the Town Council carried on wasting thousands upon thousands of pounds, convinced that they knew best.