As the industrial action at SomersetClive intensifies, Editor Mr Clive Saint, Sir, has responded to the demands from the newly-formed SomersetClive Against News Detailing All the Lies and OUtrageous Stupidity’ (SCANDALOUS).
Speaking exclusively to himself, Mr Saint, Sir, said “I notice that one of them has managed to come into the office and add a story to the SomersetClive website sometime during the last 24 hours.
Let me just say that I do understand their frustration. It’s not easy having to report on such a bunch of incompetent fools as the current incumbents of the Hayloft Road Palace Retirement Home for Bemused and Bewildered BeFuddled Party ex-Teachers (and Others).
Even I look at the information coming out of Smalltown and Dullbridge (SaD) Town Council and wonder what on earth they think they are doing, and I’ve been reporting on the situation there for so long that I can still remember the Golden Welcome to Smalltown sign, (which we must never speak of again), Squire Teflon’s close-friend and employer Mistress Bones’ World Record Breaking Olympic Sized Swimming Pool and Ice Rink and other assorted failures.
I had to spent years writing about the mind-boggling decisions which make you want to bang your head against a brick wall made by SaD Town Councillors and I don’t see why the younger generation shouldn’t have to do the same.
Anyway, I’m not giving into the demands from SCANDALOUS and I have a new member of staff starting today who is prepared to cross the picket line and report on the latest news from Smalltown and Dullbridge.
Watch this space.”