A news black out has been put in place at SomersetClive following a decision by journalists at the highly acclaimed and esteemed publication to go on strike until their demands are met.
Currently no one has any idea what the demands are, but SomersetClive Editor Mr Clive Saint, Sir, said “No. I don’t know where they are. But if they don’t turn up to work tomorrow no one will get a lunch break.
Sometimes I really don’t understand my staff. They knew when they took on the job that they would be expected to work long hours, wearing out their shoe leather trying to track down the latest news around Smalltown and Dullbridge, and that they would be expected to share one pen between eight of them – because everyone knows that Squire Teflon has all the other pens in Smalltown, held safely in his pocket.
I can’t believe it’s about their work conditions or pay. I’m a generous man. I gave them all an extra lump of coal at Christmas.
If anyone knows the whereabouts of any of my staff will you please tell them to come into my office. Otherwise I shall be forced to use Artificial Intelligence to do their work. And I’m pretty sure AI will make a better job of it than they do.”