Visitors to the Hayloft Road Palace Retirement Home for Bemused and Bewildered BeFuddled Party ex-Teachers (and Others) have been advised not to approach or make eye contact with the man loitering in the car park.
The warning comes after members of staff at Smalltown and Dullbridge (SaD) Town Council were accosted by the man when they arrived for work.
The Smalltown Administration Guru, Katie Global, said “It’s quite bad actually. I mainly work from home, but had cause to go into the office to pick up a new pen. I had shut my car door and this man came out of nowhere and shouted ‘Gizza job’ really loudly. I was terrified but managed to make it through the office door which I immediately locked behind me.“
SomersetClive sent a reporter to investigate and we can confirm that the man has now been identified as newly-elected to SaD Town Council, Illiberal Councillor Al Incendiary.
Councillor Incendiary told us “It’s simple really. I want a job.
I was elected in place of BeFuddled Councillor Captain Rumm, who resigned because he was fed up of being bossed around by Dictator Dullard and Deputy Dictator Cruella Sherry. I thought I’d be an automatic shoe-in to serve on his committees and to replace him as the SaD TC representative on the board of the Dullbridge Community Hall and the Porland Community Hall.
Instead I was totally stitched up by those BeFuddleds who gave the jobs to their own, with disgraced Councillor Jock ‘Balcony’ McCads getting both the SaD Town Unimprovements Committee and the Dullbridge Community Hall jobs, and Cllr Jim Rabbithole being appointed to the Planning and Scheming Committee.
The final straw was when Dictator Dullard appointed herself to the position of SaD TC representative Porland Community Hall, despite her not actually knowing what it is and calling it the Porland Hospital for the Poor.
As I’m not on any committees I don’t actually have a job. My only resort is to stand in this car park hoping that someone will take pity on me and give me something useful to do.”
SomersetClive understands that Squire Teflon’s close-friend and employer Mistress Bones, has now offered Cllr Incendiary a newspaper delivery round, which he will share with the Squire.