Media Mogul Mike Maxman’s award-winning website (Ed – FFS, how many times do I have to say it? Stop banging on about his awards) has long suffered assault by Squire Teflon who, after imbibing too much Albanian Whiskey, often uses the forum to bang on about how useless the BeFuddleds are, as well as continually haranguing Mr Maxman and insisting that all mention of himself and his close-friend and employer Mistress Bones, must be removed from the website under pain of death.
In recent weeks Mr Maxman has deployed a secret weapon, known in Smalltown and Dullbridge circles as ‘Mr IKnowItAll‘, who has taken to posting increasingly lengthy and exceedingly boring posts in which he types endlessly about himself, how clever he is and how he knows it all, pausing only briefly to allow other forum users to also post about how clever he must be and how he knows it all.
Should anyone attempt to disagree with Mr IKnowItAll a barrage of further posts detailing how clever he is and how he knows it all are unleashed.
We spoke to Mr Maxman to ask if he was aware that Mr IKnowItAll’s posts have alienated many of the regular users of the site who are sick to death of seeing Mr IKnowItAll telling them that they know nothing and have no right to question Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Council about matters such as the recent budget, the Intergalactic Marketfair or the White Elephant Enclosure, as they don’t understand any of these things, whilst he, Mr IKnowItAll knows everything about these things, even though he doesn’t.
Mr Maxman told us “It’s great isn’t it? We are so lucky to have a contributor of his calibre. Someone who is a qualified astro-physicist, a recipient of a Nobel Peace Prize for Boredom, holds 94 Michelin stars, as well as the Guinness World Record for being the biggest bore in the Universe, scored a hat-trick in the final of the 1994 World Tiddlywinks Cup, a brain surgeon, a world renowned stamp collector and Is the current Hokey-Cokey Champion, and has the certificates to prove it.
Not only that but, despite not knowing anything about Smalltown and Dullbridge, nor having any idea of the history behind many of the decisions taken by the Town Council over the years and having never attended a SaD TC meeting, he still manages to tell residents that on this, and many other subjects, they are wrong and he is right.
His insistence that everyone loves the WEE is a case in point. Telling residents that they should allow Councillors an opportunity to make a success of the venue is the most ridiculous idea ever when you take into account that Councillors have had 13 years and over £1 million to make it a success. As Mr IKnowItAll knows absolutely nothing about it is it any wonder that so many forum users have now set their accounts to ignore him?
I’ve been struggling with moderation on my forum for years. If it’s not Squire Teflon posting inflammatory comments about residents, then it’s Squire Teflon insisting that I delete comments about himself. I never get a minute’s peace. And now, Mr IKnowItAll has achieved, in only a few short days, what I’ve been trying to do for years. He’s killed off the forum.”
Readers are reminded that the SomersetClive forum is still active and has been declared a ‘Mr IKnowItAll free space‘.