As he steps over into the middle of the year, what does Smalltown and Dullbridge infamous psychedelic see in store for us over the summer?
July
SUMMER? You can forget summer. July is going to be a washout. Wall-to-wall rain. There may even be snow. Who knows? I’m not a weather forecaster.
A COACH party of pensioners from Brumingham disembark in the S&M car park and ask “Where are we?” After learning they are in Smalltown, they ask “Why?“
They return to their coach 10 minutes later and hold the driver hostage, demanding to be taken to Red Ruby Garden Shopping Mall claiming that “There’s nothing to do here.”
Ivor BiggPockett from the Smalltown Office for the Beach (SOB) is sent in to give them a run down of everything on offer in Smalltown, but emerges from the coach after five minutes, admitting defeat.
Things start to turn really nasty and Lady Brassy is sent to try to defuse the situation. She begins to list all the shops in Smalltown. After listening to her for two minutes the pensioners throw her off the coach and release the driver; who says “No. Please – I can’t take any more of this”. He immediately starts the engine and the coach heads off to Red Ruby Gardening Shopping Mall.