Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Council Finance and Misappropriation Committee managed to agree the budget for the next financial year, making it the Highest Hike in History Ever, as an increase of 23% was waved through with nary a comment.
The previously agreed savings of £13,594 failed to materialise, as the £10,000 set aside for Local Government Reorganisation was instead renamed ‘General Increased Expenditure’ and left in the budget, and the only trim to expenditure was the £3,500 taken from Dictator Dullard’s Climate Rescue Action Plan (CRAP).
Squire Teflon put forward an alternative budget which saw £1000 taken from the Office Furniture budget and the proposed £1000 which had been added to the budget for CCTV services removed. Following the lengthiest debate of the evening, Councillors said they might consider this, but then forgot to take it into account.
With most of the Finance and Misappropriation Committee looking way out of their depth, Head of Mathematics Banish Barracuda reeled through the figures and asked if anyone had any questions, which no one did because no one understood what was going on.
Explaining that last year SaD TC had been able to take money from the savings account to lessen the blow to residents, Cllr Barracuda said “Errrrm. This errm year we can’t errm take money from the errrm reserves because errrm to put it errrm simply we errrrm don’t have enough. Currently we errrm only have errrm enough in errrm the errrrm savings account to errrrm cover us for errrrm three and a errm half errm months of errrrm operation.“
Councillors nodded sagely as Squire Teflon said “That’s our savings. Once it’s gone it’s gone and we may find that we will need some of that money for the WEE.”
Councillors therefore agreed to pass on the full 23% increase to residents, raising the average Band D property by an additional £29.41 per year or just over the price of one ticket to a show at the WEE.
Aware that the steep increase could see residents struggling with their bills Councillor Barracuda kindly pointed out that “Errrm. The errrrm poor of the errm parish can always errrm ask to move errm into errrrm one of the new errrm Work Houses, a errm plan errrm currently errrm under consideration by errrm ANYUSSC. They errrrm would still errrrm need to pay their errrrm Council errrrm Tax, but would errrrm be made to errrrm work in return for errrrm their errrrm keep.”
Although part of the budget rise is due to having to help out the BeFuddled-run All-New-Yet-Unimproved Somerset Cuonty Council by paying for some of the services provided, the WEE remains the single most expensive reason for the high rate of tax in Smalltown and Dullbridge.
Had Mr Padraig Irishh been allowed to operate the WEE, SaD residents could have been looking at only a two-pence per week increase. Instead SaD Town Councillors, have kept their heads firmly in the sand and agreed to continue to throw money at the venue on the off-chance that after 13 years of abject failure there is the very slimmest of chances (actually no chance whatsoever) that the loss for the next financial year may be less.
The agreed budget is due to go to the next Full Town Council meeting for approval, where it is likely that, much as he did last year, Squire Teflon will refuse to support it, and despite having agreed to the increase already, will say “This is ridiculous, you BeFuddleds have made a complete hash of this. Next time people need to vote Illiberal – the party of low taxes. We wouldn’t have increased taxes at all. Except for the amount needed for my WEE.”
Despite the Squire’s proclamation the full 23% increase will be agreed by the remaining councillors, however it is unlikely to make much of a dent in ANYUSSC’s current predicted debt and next year SaD residents will be asked for even more. At this rate of increase SaD residents could well find themselves priced out of their homes.