Last Thursday, Squire Teflon entertained the residents of Smalltown and Dullbridge after taking advantage of a special offer on Albanian Whiskey in Piddles.
Posting on an Internet forum, Squire Teflon shared his views on the All-New-Yet-Unimproved Somerset Cuonty Council detailing how the BeFuddled Party always make a mess of financial matters and if residents didn’t like the increase in Council Tax they shouldn’t vote BeFuddled.
Residents then queried why Squire Teflon had agreed to support a huge hike in the Smalltown and Dullbridge (SaD) Town Council budget, most of which will go towards supporting the White Elephant Enclosure, which Squire Teflon saved for the nation and which has been haemorrhaging money ever since.
Squire Teflon then claimed that he loved the BeFuddleds, giving a special mention to the chair of the WEE Mismanagement Committee Deputy Dictator Cruella Sherry, Dictator Dullard, Fun Police Officer Cllr Patsy Knickers and Head of Mathematics Cllr Banish Barracuda, as these four are the ones he needs to manipulate to get what he wants.
Referring specifically to questions regarding the SaD precept and why he hadn’t disagreed with the BeFuddled plan to increase it substantially, Teflon said “You seem to forget that the BeFuddleds have supported many of my suggestions – mainly because they have no idea what they are doing. It’s called working together for the good of the town.” Seemingly forgetting Dullbridge in his reply.
Former Councillor and Leader of the Dullbridge Liberation Front, Ellen Proves, questioned this saying “You trash the BeFuddleds constantly on social media, and yet want us to believe you love them? Why haven’t you put forward an alternative budget, if you feel this one is too high? Why are you supporting this in Council meetings and yet bemoaning the increase in public?”
Squire Teflon countered “There is no point in disagreeing with something that residents will find disagreeable. It will give me the opportunity to remind them that they voted BeFuddled and if they’d wanted a different outcome they should have voted Illiberal.
Besides, I don’t always agree with every decision they make. I believe that I may find a reason to publically disagree with them next Monday during a SaD Town Unimprovements Committee meeting. Perhaps this will persuade everyone that I don’t always work together. Especially when it comes to decisions which may affect my close friend and employer Mistress Bones.“
On Friday morning the Squire was spotted behind the counter in Mistress Bones Newspaper and Tat Emporium clutching his head and groaning loudly.