Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Council has declined to comment on the utter fiasco surrounding the Smalltown Christmas Lights Switch On which took place on Saturday.
The highlight of the event should have been at 6pm, when Dictator Dullard, together with celebrity guests Juanita Hobson and Nicholas Voyd, pushed the plunger and everyone anticipated that the town would light up in festive glory. Instead only a few of the lights flickered into being and the Crowd were left sorely disappointed.
A source has confirmed that Dictator Dullard is on the war path after becoming the laughing stock of the town and has demanded answers. “She really is furious. I haven’t seen her this angry since Smalltown’s (Previously) Most Popular Councillor, Jock ‘Balcony’ McCads told her to ‘Go swivel’ when she told him to resign. She’s looking for someone to take the blame.
Outwardly, though, both she and the rest of the Councillors are pretending that everything is good and that the few lights that did come on were spectacular.“
SomersetClive understands that residents were actually treated to a glimpse of the lights on Friday night, when the lights were on for all to see.
It has been left to Former Councillor Fencesitter to deflect the blame away from his beloved BeFuddled Party Councillors, as in his eyes they can do no wrong and he is always on hand with an excuse.
“There was absolutely nothing wrong with the procurement process for the Christmas Lights. Tenders were issued and three companies responded. All three companies were then assessed and awarded marks by a panel of Councillors. The final decision was then made by all Councillors. So it was absolutely nothing to do with the Town Council at all.“
As regards the failure of most of the lights to come on, it seems that some shop and business owners hadn’t plugged their lights in, as they were unaware that they needed to do so.
I don’t know, because I’m not a Town Councillor, but I’m certain that either a member of staff or a Councillor would have written a letter or spoken to the businesses concerned to advise them of the need to plug the lights in and pay for the electricity to run them themselves.
So I really don’t understand what happened, other than it definitely wasn’t the fault of the BeFuddled Town Councillors.”
The Council paid over £20,000 for the lights in Smalltown and Dullbridge and the contract runs for three years in total, meaning costs of £63,000 will have been incurred by the end of 2025. Residents will therefore face similar disappointment over the next couple of years, so at least it can be said that the BeFuddled Party have let everyone down in this first year and no one will need to get excited about what will no doubt be another dismal display in 2024.