Dictator Kelsey Dullard has moved up from photo opportunities to appearing on the television and has confirmed the next step in her campaign to totally subjugate the citizens of Smalltown and Dullbridge by taking over everything they hold dear.
Appearing on a local news channel on Monday evening Dictator Dullard said “I am pleased to announce that my Carnivoo will be taking place this evening, especially after I had to make a very late decision to cancel my Festival of Bangs and Flashes which was scheduled to take place last night at Smalltown Jetty, as a last minute mark of respect for the unfortunate incident which took place at the same location a week ago.
As a further mark of respect I have told all the Carnivoo clubs taking part in the parade tonight to lower the volume on their entries as they reach Jetty Street.
I realise that it has been previously mentioned in the media that this decision was taken by the Carnivoo Committee and the Clubs themselves, but that is categorically NOT the case at all.
Whilst I was unable to decide whether or not to go ahead with the Festival cancellation – even though this had been suggested by others on the Monday after the Sunday – without an awful lot of thinking and talking first, I was able to get the Carnivoo people to make a much faster decision, when I proposed my idea.
In fact, and I know a lot of people don’t know this, the original idea of Carnivoo was mine and mine alone, and I’ve been organising it myself for many years. I hope as many people as possible will attend the Carnivoo which I have arranged for them.. It will be good to see them. “
SomersetClive approached the previous Carnivoo Chairman, Bill Old, for comment and he told us” “Carnivoo organised by Dictator Dullard? Well that will explain why the organisation is such a disaster this year. When I was in charge of single-handedly organising the Carnivoo, I…” unfortunately at this point we lost mobile phone signal.