Yawn

Last Monday’s Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Council Full Council meeting saw Councillor Robb Apprentice-Candlestick Maker present his coursework project to his fellow Councillors.

Cllr Apprentice-Candlestick Maker had submitted a 94 page report on ‘Homelessness in Smalltown and Dullbridge – What it is, Where it is, Why it is, How it is, Which it is, Who it is, Why it is, Whether it is and When it is.’

In terms of length and dullness, Cllr Apprentice-Candlestick Maker had given Dictator Dullard some serious competition. Especially as the second page of the report (after the index) stated “In truth many of these factors are caused by policies and societal structures that are beyond the ability of a town or even unitary
council to influence
“, which rather made the remaining 92 pages pointless.

The subject of Homelessness was brought to the attention of SaD Town Council last year by Cllr Apprentice-Candlestick Maker, and in December Councillors agreed to his proposal that a Working Group be set up to look into the matter, with Dictator Dullard saying at the time “If it keeps him quiet and out of our sight then I don’t see what harm it can do.”

After wading through all 94 pages SomersetClive believes she may well now be regretting that decision. To their credit, the other Councillors present at the meeting did wake up in time to see Dictator Dullard pat Cllr Apprentice-Candlestick Maker on the head and say “Thank you for that. It was quite good.”

(Ed – By the way – where is Robb? And what’s that strange banging noise that’s been coming from the stationery cupboard this week?

Banging noise, Mr Editor, Sir?

Ed – Yes. Banging noise. You did palm Cllr Apprentice-Candlestick Maker off on the Smalltown Weekly Snooze, didn’t you?

Ah… About that, Sir…

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