All roads into Smalltown are closed to traffic today and over-zealous Carnivoo Marshalls will be out in force ensuring that road users don’t attempt to drive anywhere.
For the first time in Carnivoo history all roads into Dullbridge will also be closed to traffic, with yet more over-zealous Carnivoo Marshalls manning the barricades to ensure that no one already in the town tries to breakthrough to reach Smalltown Carnivoo.
Carnivoo Sheriff Madley Dangeridge has confirmed the road closures saying “In order to ensure that no one can attend Carnivoo we have closed all the roads into and out of Smalltown.
This means that residents who are already in Smalltown won’t be able to go anywhere, so they may as well give up and go to the Carnivoo. Visitors from outside Smalltown will be discouraged as this is a local Carnivoo for local people.
We have already installed some 10ft high fencing (available to hire from my company Tinpot Spurt Events at a very reasonable cost) outside of Former Carnivoo Chairman. Bill Old’s house in order to prevent him leaving his property to tell us what we are doing wrong.”
A 94 mile diversion is not in place and anyone thinking of attempting a car journey today should pack a survival bag containing water, blankets, and a chunk of Gender-neutral Mint Cake.