Lady Brassy of Easton-under-Water and Very, Very, Very, Very, Very Important Founder of the Smalltown Shops (SS) group, together with the Smalltown Manager of Usefulness and Tourism (SMUT), Ivor BiggPockett, have started a search for volunteers to take on a new role in Smalltown.
Lady Brassy said “This is a brilliant, brilliant, brilliant idea that I’ve come up with all on my own and it’s something that has never ever been tried in Smalltown before.
We are looking for people to join our Smalltown Loitering Aimlessly Volunteer Expatiation Squad (SLAVES).
Volunteers will meet and greet visitors and residents to Smalltown, giving information and directions to the tourist attractions in the town as well as handing out leaflets advertising both my shop and Squire Teflon’s close-friend and employer Mistress Bones’ Newspaper and Tat Emporium.”
Ivor BiggPockett of the Smalltown Office for the Beach (SOB) added “This scheme already operates with great success in Smells, where volunteers are on hand to direct visitors to the Cathedral and Royal Palace.
In terms of tourist attractions in Smalltown our SLAVES will only be able to direct visitors to the beach, and it is unlikely that visitors won’t be able to find that for themselves, but this is sure to be a great scheme which should attract funding from the Chernobyl-by-Sea Slush Fund.”
Lady Brassy continued “If you are an outgoing person who enjoys talking to people until their eyes glaze over and have a few hours to spare every day from now until eternity, and would be interested in handing out leaflets advertising my shop for free by becoming one of my SLAVES, then we’d love to hear from you.”
The scheme has the backing of Squire Teflon, who will be encouraging Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Council to hand over money to produce the advertising leaflets, despite the scheme not being of any benefit whatsoever to SaD Council Tax payers.
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