Squire Teflon’s close-friend and employer Mistress Bones and Lady Brassy of Easton-under-Water, founders of the Smalltown Shops (SS) Group have confirmed that they will not be holding a Smalltown Christmas Light Switch On With Tinsel, Baubles. Fairies, Santas, Candles And Bells On Event this year.
The SS Christmas Event first took place in 2021and was a part of a ploy by Squire Teflon and Mistress Bones to wrest power from the Smalltown Chamber of Trade (SCOT).
SCOT have organised their Christmas Light Switch On Event every year since 1894, an afternoon of Festive fun which takes place outside the George Hotel in George Street and culminates in the Christmas Lights and Christmas Tree Switch On.
However, with the formation of the SS and Squire Teflon’s Illiberal-run Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Council, funding was awarded by SaD Town Council to the SS in order for a duplicate event to take place at the opposite end of Smalltown.
Much to the chagrin of shop owners in the town, this event saw the length of Main Street closed to traffic and a myriad of stalls set up in front of the shops, thus blocking access.
Although the SS had promised to work with SCOT to produce one large event it quickly became apparent that this wasn’t true. The first year saw SCOT organise their traditional amusements, via their usual fairground attraction company, for residents to enjoy. Mistress Bones and Lady Brassy contacted a rival fairground attraction company to bring amusements to their end of town. All hell broke loose when the SCOT providers discovered that a competing company would also be in attendance. Threats were issued and the SS amusements were cancelled.
A further grant was awarded to both SCOT and the SS in 2022, although Lady Brassy had to reprimand members of her SS group for not joining in with her vision for a Christmas Event.
Luckily things are back to normal this year, with a single event, organised by SCOT. It is believed that the All-New-Yet-Unimproved Somerset Cuonty Council’s new red tape regulations, which saw Festivus cancelled in the nearby Town of Cheese, are behind the SS’s decision not to run their event again.
Anyone wanting to host an event now has to submit paperwork in triplicate, covering all Health and Safety requirements and a full Risk Assessment. Last year the SS submitted a single hand written sheet of paper to cover their event, whilst SCOT delivered a 94 page document.
It seems that this year the SS has decided to leave it to the professionals.