Residents in the Smalltown Posh electorate ward are being advised to lock their doors, close their curtains and, if at all possible, die on Saturday morning.
The stark warning comes after it was revealed by the Fridgpond Illiberal Party that they will be starting their election campaign for the as-yet not confirmed new constituency of Smalltown and Dullbridge, Fridgpond Unitary Constituency (SaDFUC) in readiness for the as-yet unannounced General Election.
Squire Teflon and a bunch of fellow Illiberal ne’re do wells will be joined by Lord Rashley Pox, as they plan to knock on doors to introduce him to the area they believe will most likely support him.
Given Teflon’s recent meltdown it is to be hoped that they don’t knock on the doors of any BeFuddled supporters or ‘pathetic keyboard warriors’.