Following the heavy rain and thunderstorms in Smalltown and Dullbridge last weekend, which saw areas of both towns flooded and made driving conditions difficult, it has been revealed that Dictator Dullard and Fun Police Officer Patsy Knickers have been inspired to approach the All-New-Yet-Unimproved Somerset Cuonty Council with a ‘really good idea’.
Dictator Dullard told SomersetClive “I have had a good idea and I think it’s a really good one. As you know as part of MY Climate Rescue Action Plan (MYCRAP) I want to get all cars (apart from mine, because I need it to attend all my photo opportunities) off the road and, having seen the reduction in vehicles driving around due to the recent flooding, I think my next idea is a winner.
I have discussed it with Fun Police Officer Councillor Knickers and she agrees with me. She wouldn’t dare do otherwise. No one is allowed to disagree with me.
It’s a plan which will bring untold benefits to my towns and I have already spent a lot of time thinking about it. First of all we will flood all streets in Smalltown and Dullbridge to a depth of two foot. This will mean that no one will be able to drive their cars. I then propose to set up a Special Inflatable Dinghy Service (SIDS) which will operate as a water taxi and will replace Last Bus. This will save me having to have endless meetings about the local bus service.
Even better, I have decreed that we will change the name of Smalltown to Smalltown-under-Water. Once all the road signs are changed this could lead to confusion for people planning to visit the more lovely nearby local Town of Easton-under-Water. I think this will be a real bonus for our tourist trade and will see more people visiting the area.
I am aware that attracting more visitors to Smalltown is the current remit of the Town Bored, of which I’m not a member. So adopting my plan means there will be no need for the Town Bored to meet, which won’t be that difficult as, in the four months which have passed since the Town Bored was created, they haven’t managed to meet anyway.
I think it’s going to be really good to see.”