The SomersetClive website will be offline for updates today.
There is a rumour circulating around Smalltown and Dullbridge that our Editor, Mr Clive Saint, Sir, accidentally changed the password and none of us can log in, but we can assure our readers that this is not the case.
Our ‘servers are undergoing essential maintenance’ or something equally technical which we don’t fully understand, but the Trolls who work in the basement have assured us that they know what they are doing and we will all have to be patient with them, because shouting at them doesn’t make them work any faster.
Don’t you just hate it when you have to be nice to Trolls? There was a time when you could torment them by running across their bridge to get to the greener grass. You could hurl abuse as you ran “Haha. You ugly old Troll. You’ll never catch us.” But no. That’s not allowed nowadays. Not in this all-inclusive world.
No, now you have to give them cake and freshly squeezed lemonade and speak nicely to them and invite them to the staff Christmas party and give them each a doughnut on your birthday.
The world has gone mad.