In the first volume of Steven C. Gull’s long-running saga we heard how Squire Teflon helped Mistress Bones with funding for her dream to bring a World Record Beating Olympic Sized Swimming Pool and Ice Rink to Smalltown, in return for a favour or two or 16,000. They had agreed to keep their relationship a secret from significant others, friends and the residents and electorate of Smalltown.
Following a hugely unsuccessful opening event, which attracted huge amounts of Town Council funding and small crowds, the World Record Beating Olympic Sized Swimming Pool and Ice Rink opened and, a few short weeks later, closed again.
We rejoin the dynamic duo to find them having adjusted the figures to made a silk purse out of an elephant’s ear and have managed to convince everyone that the Rink was a huge success. They are now working on a scheme for the return of Mistress Bones Olympic Sized Swimming Pool and Ice Rink.
Unfortunately some residents of Smalltown and Dullbridge are not happy to see their money spent on yet another vanity project and have been rather vocal in their objections, some have even written letters to the local newspapers raising their concerns…
Chapter Nine
The morning sun was just starting to make an appearance in the skies above Smalltown and Dullbridge. Squire Teflon was busy in Mistress Bones Newspaper and Tat Emporium, sorting out the papers ready for delivery. He turned to the pile of Smalltown and Dullbridge Weekly Snooze ready to add them to the paper rounds.
‘I suppose I should look to see what incredible things they are writing about me this week‘ he said to himself. ‘I wonder which of my daring deeds they are highlighting this week?’ He began to skim through the pages and stopped at the letters page. “Oh cr@p” he said aloud.
“Dear Editor,
Am I missing something here I can not help but wonder what and who “SADDEST” really are?
So far, in all the dealings that “SADDEST” has had with Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Council, they have only shown up for the original request for money with a poorly planned idea and no sound business case. At the first and only meeting last September they walk away with over 16k to lay on events they have never done before, without public consultation on whether the events are required. As expected by what appears to be a very large percentage of the public, the event run by hired staff failed and overall lost 8k, fast forward to March 2016, SADDEST still have not raised their public profile, they are still as invisible as before, They do not even take the time or effort to attend the council meeting to present their own financial report or answer questions on the good or bad points in person. Instead the council present the report themselves, then the same council go on to approve the balance 8k of public money to be used again a second year.
We also have one other councillor 24 hrs before crowing and revealing details of what at that time was a confidential and unseen report. And telling everyone the event will run a second year using no tax payers money. Conveniently forgetting where the 8k balance has come from.
This all feels a bit too much like behind the doors agreements are being made, which allows an unknown and unregistered group to withdraw large amounts of public funds without making themselves known.
Can any councillor tell us why SADDEST are being excused going though normal channels or procedures.
On this basis it would seem anybody can remain faceless, set up a group, post a request for funds to SaD Town Council then take that money and use it however they want. If that is the new methods for grant application it leaves Town Council funds open to misuse by any non law abiding people.
Surely at some point the TC as a whole has to account for funds used to some other higher authority who will hopefully ask the right questions.
‘Oh dear. Here we go again. Mistress Bones isn’t going to like this.’, Squire Teflon said to himself as he gathered up all the copies of the Smalltown and Dullbridge Weekly Snooze, grabbed a ‘Souvenir of Smalltown’ disposable lighter from the display behind him and headed out of the back door.