This weekend saw the start of the Open Season for Idiots in Bream.
Always a popular destination for competitors in the Stuck-in-the-Mud Meet, which sees competitors battle to extract their vehicles from the Bream beach mud, this weekend saw a new high when the driver of a vehicle attempted not to pay the beach entry fee by avoiding the vehicular access points and driving along a footpath instead.
Unortunately it didn’t end well and his vehicle became impaled on an old piece of wood.
A Crowd of people turned up to watch as attempts were made to recover the vehicle, and they wasted no time at all in pointing, jeering and laughing.
The driver, Sid Stupid, later said “The car salesman told me that this vehicle was capable of being driven anywhere. He said it has amazing off-roading abilities and I wanted to put that to the test by driving it along a footpath.
The charges for using the official entrances are astronomical so it made perfect sense to me. I wasn’t to know there were bits of wood, placed to stop idiots such as myself, buried in the sand.”
The Bream Area Rescue Ranger and Enjoyment Dictator (BARRED) said “The lengths people will go to to prove how stupid they are is incredible. However The Crowd really enjoyed the spectacle, they love a bit of free entertainment and this was certainly that.
Many of them said that watching the attempts made to rescue the vehicle was even better than watching a vehicle getting swamped by an incoming tide, because they were able to watch the entire operation without getting their feet wet.
We would like to take this opportunity to remind all drivers of All-Terrain Vehicles, including 4x4s and tanks, that their vehicle’s capabilities are no match for Bream.”