Dullbridge residents are planning to once again take up the fight against Smalltown and Dullbridge (SaD) Town Council after it became abundantly clear that the town is about to lose out to Smalltown for the 94,723rd time.
SomersetClive correspondent, Nigella Garage, who has been undercover behind the barricades and has infiltrated the Dullbridge Liberation Front (DLF) sent us this Special Report.
The mood on the streets of Dullbridge is one of anger tonight. Not only because Somerset Water has closed Merchant Street and no one can get to the shops, hairdressers and cafes, but also because they’ve heard the news that (Previously) Smalltown’s Most Popular Person (Dullbridge Public Enemy No.1) Cllr Jock McCads has gained support from SaD Town Council for his Smalltown Area Games and Gaiety Yard (SAGGY).
People in Dullbridge are asking where their SAGGY is, although of course, in Dullbridge it would be a DAGGY and quite rightly so. The residents are fed up of being overlooked and ignored, unless it’s a planning application to build 94,000 houses in the town.
DLF leader, former-Councillor Ellen Proves said “Brothers, Sisters, it looks as though we are entering a critical time for our town. Once again we see the focus of SaD Town Council is on Smalltown. Anyone would think neither they nor the All-New-Yet-Unimproved Somerset Cuonty Council are aware of the existence of Dullbridge.
Smalltown gets new toilets, hanging baskets and flower beds, 20p in every £1 of council tax spent on the White Elephant Enclosure, the promise of a shiny new clock and now the possibility of Cllr McCads’ SAGGY.
If anyone in Dullbridge ever asks for anything we are told ‘No, sorry. It’s nothing to do with us.’ Yet we are expected to put up with all this new housing constructions, but without the promise of the Section 106 bribes to put in the necessary infrastructure. No – that money will eventually find it’s way to Smalltown.
We need to act and we need to do it NOW.”
Former BeFuddled Party leader and former Council member of SaD Town Council and Sadgebore District Council Fencesitter hit back saying “I don’t know what’s happened to you, Ellen. You used to be such a lovely BeFuddled girl. Yes, you often disagreed with me and would get off your fence, but I had hoped you’d have found a stable position on a fence of your own now you’re no longer a Councillor.
You know as well as I do that a DAGGY is planned at Northwell House as part of the facilities to be provided by the new development at Islandport now under construction.
However, DLF member and Secretary of the Dullbridge War Memorial Trust who operate Northwell House, Karen Bead, said “Former Cllr Fencesitter. You’re talking out of your arse again. Our organisation has only ever had one meeting with representatives for a DAGGY to be placed in Northwell House.
Since that one off meeting we have heard nothing, yet the housing appears to be well underway with no signs of any recreational facilities being planned further.”
Sensing danger ahead after bravely stepping off his fence to express an opinion, Cllr Fencesitter immediately climbed back up and shouted petulantly” I’m no longer a Councillor. I don’t know what’s happening. It’s nothing to do with me, and there’s no point going on at me because I’ve got my fingers in my ears and I can’t hear you. Suggest you contact someone who might know what’s happening.”
However Karen refused to be silenced. Grabbing a megaphone and taking up a position at the base of Cllr Fencesitter’s she continued “I’m not going to name him, he’s been keeping his head down lately after finally being caught out staring at women’s breasts, but his name rhymes with shinpads and he will certainly need a pair of those if he comes anywhere near me again.
But that original Councillor organised and attended the meeting, then went away and promptly set up the charity with the intention of installing one in Smalltown and now he’s applying for funding for that, rather than one in Dullbridge.
Dullbridge stands no chance when something like this happens which is a sure sign of a conflict of interests. Drop the discussions with one town and instead work on enhancing the one where he lives. It’s the same with his Mad Hatter’s Tea Parties. SaDTC used to force him to run one here in Dullbridge, as well as the three in Smalltown. Ever since his BeFuddled Party took over the council that requirement has stopped.
Is it any wonder the people of Highbridge are sick to the back teeth of how the town is treated? “
The mood during the DLF meeting was one of anger mixed with resignation. However, residents were soon seen smiling again after Ellen Proves announced that she would be sharing the recipe for her special cocktails and several residents produced cans of petrol purchased at Dullbridge Asdals.
A short time later plumes of smoke were seen above the town and the sound of sirens filled the air.