Councillors at the Smalltown and Dullbridge (SaD) Town Council Full Council meeting considered a request from (Previously) Smalltown’s Most Popular Person (Dullbridge Public Enemy No.1), Cllr Jock McCads, asking if they would support his grant funding requests to the Chernobyl-by-Sea and Bendydorm Slush Funds.
Cllr McCads, who was unable to attend the meeting in person as he is still serving out his sentence imposed by the All-New-Yet-Unimproved Somerset Cuonty Council Standards Board after being found guilty of harassing the Smalltown and Dullbridge Smalltown Administration Deputy (SADSAD) Eileen Mutton, was reduced to having to make the request by letter.
Cllr McCads has spent over ten years working on his ‘Recreation in Circles Pencil’ (ReCiPe) and is still no further forward with his plan to transform the old tennis courts in Circles Pencil into the Smalltown Area Games and Gaiety Yard (SAGGY).
Laying aside both his Tam o’ Shanter and his Tea Party Top Hat with the 10/6 label, Cllr McCads donned his SAGGY hat to write “Please help my rehabilitation amongst my constituents in Smalltown Posh by agreeing to support my SAGGY scheme.
I need to apply for grant funding by the first week of September, so if you could agree to my plan before then that would be good.”
Addressing the meeting, Chair of the SaDTC Town Unimprovements Committee, Jim Rabbithole said “I have thought about this quite a bit and I think this is a good idea. I know the TUMPS Committee don’t usually do anything to improve the town, but I think this is something which I think could actually improve Smalltown and we won’t have to contribute anything to it but will still be able to claim the credit.
Cllr Banish Barracuda agreed saying “Errrm. I think this errrm proposal will help to meet the ermm objective of giving Cllr McCads an opperrrrmtunity to look good errrrm again after all the errrm negative press he’s errrrm had in the errrrm last few months. I am errrrm happy to support errrrrrm this.”
Deputy Dictator Cruella Sherry was observed to have a stony face throughout the discussion and, when it came to the vote, she accidentally dropped her pen on the floor and had to reach down to pick it up again. When she sat up again it was all over.