Volunteers at Smalltown’s Really Needy Lifesaving Association (RNLA) were thrilled to receive a visit recently from the charity’s boss, who praised them for their hard work and dedication.
CEO Mike Bowie said “It was a delight to visit <checks notes> Smalltown to see the work the volunteers put into securing donations for us.
Donations are vital for us to ensure that we stay in the top ten richest charities in the UK and so that I can continue to draw my enormous salary.
I had heard reports that this particular branch of the RNLA faces competition for fundraising from a local volunteer-run much, much smaller charity – the Smalltown Area Ship, Hovercraft and Helicopter (SMASHH) who are often first on the scene at rescues.
I wanted to see what our local volunteers were doing to counter this competition. I visited the local RNLA shop, noting that SMASHH don’t have a shop of their own, but share space with the Smalltown Office for the Beach (SOB), so we are definitely winning that one.
However, SMASHH’s prominent position on Smalltown Seafront does give cause for concern and I have suggested that the RNLA team on Jetty Street spend more time hosing down their equipment. Seeing them in action will allow the public to learn more about the important work they do, ensuring their equipment is clean.”
Station Manager at Smalltown RNLA, David Matthews said “It was great to have the big boss visit us. He had some really good ideas about how we can raise our profile even higher and get to the scene of a rescue faster than SMASHH.
One of his suggestions was that we visit the SMASHH station in disguise and let the air out of the tyres on their hovercraft trailer. He also suggested puncturing the hovercraft itself, which I think is a great idea.
The next time they launch they may just find themselves in difficulty. Who are they going to call to rescue them? Yes. That’s right. The RNLA. It’s a win-win situation.”