In the first volume of Steven C. Gull’s long-running saga we heard how Squire Teflon helped Mistress Bones with funding for her dream to bring a World Record Beating Olympic Sized Swimming Pool and Ice Rink to Smalltown, in return for a favour or two or 16,000. They had agreed to keep their relationship a secret from significant others, friends and the residents and electorate of Smalltown.
Following a hugely unsuccessful opening event, which attracted huge amounts of Town Council funding and small crowds, the World Record Beating Olympic Sized Swimming Pool and Ice Rink opened and, a few short weeks later, closed again.
We rejoin the dynamic duo to find them hard at work making a silk purse out of a pig’s ear as they try to convince everyone that the Rink was a huge success and work on a scheme for next year.
Chapter Three
Later that night Squire Teflon and Mistress Bones met up in the stockroom of her Newspaper and Tat Emporium.
Mistress Bones perched her bottom on a cardboard box full of plastic ducks. It creased under her weight. “My darling, darling Squire. I’m speechless. You did such a marvellous job of confusing them with all those numbers. By the end of it all even I was convinced we’d made a huge profit.”
“I know! I thought Fencesitter was on to us for a minute, but it turns out he can’t actually use a calculator either. And all my Illiberals came through too. They said exactly what I told them to say.”
“So in nine months time you and I will have a legitimate reason to meet all day, every day, rather than these rare snatches of togetherness where I pretend I’m working late sorting out newspapers and you pretend you are at a Council meeting.”
“Yes, nine months and we can make those Ice Rink Penguins’ eyes boggle again! But for now we will have to take what we can, when we can.”
As he said the words he leapt on top of Mistress Bones. It was too much for the cardboard box and ducks shot through the air in every direction.