Rumours have been circulating around Smalltown and Dullbridge regarding the reason behind Councillor Patsy Knickers removal from her role as Deputy Dictator, during May’s Town Council reshuffle.
Once recognised as Dictator Dullard’s trusted right-hand woman who, together with Dictator Dullard’s left-hand woman, Cllr Eugenie Sherry, were entrusted to ensure that Dictator Dullard didn’t fall off her high fence, Cllr Knickers was removed from her position and a new position as Dictator Dullard’s Representative was created for InItForHimself Party member Councillor Robert NotBothered.
Cllr Knickers has found herself all but ostracised by Dictator Dullard, and it is believed that the problem stems from SaD Town Council’s Climate Rescue Action Plan (CRAP). An idea proposed by Cllr Knickers, who spent an awful lot of time producing what Dictator Dullard described as “A lovely project. Lots of lovely pictures and lovely writing. Well done.”
So impressed was Dictator Dullard that she immediately grabbed the CRAP and claimed it for herself, saying “It’s my CRAP now.” whilst Cllr Knickers meekly accepted this, it seems that Deputy Dictator Sherry, who has the Dictator’s ear, then began a whispering campaign.
“Knickers would like to put an end to your photo opportunities.”, “Knickers won’t be happy until there are no fun events in Smalltown and Dullbridge.” “Knickers has been stealing your tea bags” and “Knickers doesn’t like it when you cut ribbons.” are just some of the vicious rumours which have left Cllr Sherry’s lips and have led to other members of the BeFuddled Party nicknaming her ‘Cruella’, behind her back.
Cruella is known to have been seeking (Previously) Smalltown’s Most Popular Person (Dullbridge Public Enemy No.1) sex pest Cllr McCads removal from the BeFuddled Party and has been playing bad cop to Cllr Knickers good cop. However, Knickers and other members of the BeFuddled Party still haven’t made up their minds about a suitable punishment for McCads and Cruella has grown weary of the procrastination.
This indecision prompted Cruella Sherry to mutter to Dictator Dullard that perhaps they “could look at replacing Knickers with Cllr NotBothered, as this will go down well with Dullbridge residents, who have been overlooked in the Mayoral stakes for years.”
Aware that something was going on, Cllr Knickers agreed that she would be happy to forsake her Deputy Dictator role, but only if she was given a seat on the White Elephant Enclosure Mismanagement Committee, where she hoped to be the voice of reason, trying to stamp out the frivolous fun which takes place in the venue at vast cost to residents.
Cruella Sherry is believed to be ‘absolutely seething‘ with the decision to include Cllr Knickers on HER WEE Mismanagement Committee and has decided to form an unholy alliance with Squire Teflon and his Illiberal Party to stamp on any suggestions made by Cllr Knickers.