WEE confirms return of Psychic

The White Elephant Enclosure has confirmed that spirit-converser, Haig Norris, will be returning to Smalltown on Wednesday (tomorrow) and the news has upset at least one resident.

Mike Mystic, 58, called the SomersetClive office last week to tell us “I can’t believe that the White Elephant Enclosure has allowed this charlatan to return and is actually giving him stage space. It’s ridiculous

He calls himself a ‘Medium’, when he’s actually more of a Minimum.

He’s quite useless and he’s not even from Smalltown or Dullbridge. Surely they could have found a more local spirit communer – one with an excellent reputation?”

We told Mr Mystic that his voice sounded familiar, and asked if he knew a man called ‘Mystic Mick’, but he denied this, saying “No. I’ve never heard of him. But he sounds like someone who knows his onions and could probably attract a capacity audience to the WEE every night of the week, not just a handful of people on a Wednesday at the end of June.”

We contacted Mr Norris for a comment, but he told us “I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were going to phone. I’m a bit busy today, I’m polishing my crystal balls. Could you possibly call back next week? Let me check my diary to see when I’m free.”

SomersetClive had arranged an exclusive telephone interview with Mr Norris which was due to take place yesterday, but Mr Norris left a message on the office answerphone to say that due to an unexpected event which required the services of a plumber he would be unavailable to speak to us.

Tickets for An Evening at the WEE with Haig Norris have been selling at the usual rate for any event at the WEE. Very slowly.

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