Smalltown and Dullbridge (SaD) Town Council Town Unimprovements Committee recently approved a grant of £94 from the events budget for the Smalltown Victory Parade which will take place in Smalltown on 1st July.
During the discussion about the funding Illiberal Councillor Mark Facelift, asked the BeFuddled Party Councillors why they haven’t been turning up to the various events held in Smalltown or Dullbridge saying “If I can make it all the way from my home in Fridgpond to support these events and get my photograph in the local paper, why can’t you?
Why is it that only Headmistress, Mayor and Dictator Cllr Kelsey Dullard is the only member of your party who turns up to support local events and is the only person that appears in the photos?
When we Illiberals were in charge here we would turn up en masse at these occasions, it was wall-to-wall Illiberal Councillors, yet you lot don’t bother. You should be ashamed of yourselves.”
Committee Chair Banish Barracuda looked bemused and bewildered, before replying “Errrrm. I wasn’t errrm aware that we errrrm were invited to these events. Dictator Dullard told us we weren’t allowed to go.”
Mark Facelift said “That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. Of course you can go. There’s always more than enough tea and cakes to go round at these dos”
Turning to the Smalltown Administration Guru (SAG), Katie Global, Cllr Barracuda asked “Errrrm. Is this true? Can we really go to these errrrm events?”
Ms Global confirmed that they could saying “Of course you can. Why do you think I always send you all a copy of the invitations? Anyone is welcome. You could have gone to any of the recent Coronation events for example, or even (Previously) Smalltown’s Most Popular Person (Dullbridge Public Enemy No.1) Jock McCads’ recent Mad Hatter’s Tea Party, although I fully understand why you would want to miss that one.”
Cllr Barracuda then asked if all Councillors would receive an invite to the Armed Forces Parade and was assured by Ms Global that they would.
It was later revealed that Dictator Dullard was ‘livid’ at the news, with our source telling us “She is really not happy about this open invitation being sent to all and sundry and is telling everyone that they had better not show up, because she won’t be sharing the limelight, so they may as well all stay at home.”
The Smalltown Victory Parade celebrates the date in 1933 when Dullbridge was incorporated with Smalltown to form Smalltown Suburban District Cuoncil with all Dullbridge rate payers money subsequently diverted to Smalltown.